2nd day is WAY hard

Athena decided to have Bowen go to her house for a little while this evening so Frank and I decided to go grab a bite to eat. Of course there were people smoking right next to us and immediately I felt like I was going to die if I didn't get a smoke. So, on the way home we stopped at the grocery store and I got some candy and sunflower seeds. Frank decided to stop and get cigarettes. When we got home we just sat there, thinking about then. Debating whether or not to go and have one of them. So, finally I said come on and we went out side. While Frank had his cigarette I sat there and acted like I was smoking mine. I have to tell you, it was the hardest thing I have done in a long time. Believe me, when Frank went and got rid of the rest of them I started crying. Of course I was alone. I was ashamed how much I let this drug take control over me. My every thought is of having a cigarette. Just one drag. Just a little puff to curb the craving. But, I gave frank my cig. and told him no, that I didn't want it. Instead I went on a nice long bike ride and I feel much better now. I want to be here for my son. I want to go and do things with out having to take a break to smoke. I don't want to smell of cigarettes. I just want them out of my life FOREVER!

On a more positive note, Athena and I leave for Denver tomorrow. YIPEE!!! I got her and I t-shirts and hats to wear to the game. Athena is very excited because she has never been to a game. Then to think her first game is a MONDAY NIGHT game. How awesome is that?!?! I will be posting pictures when I get back, so I wont be posting again probably until Wednesday. Have a good Monday, I know I will! *text is the color of my lungs if I dont quit*