Finally!

We finally closed the loan for our house yesterday! YEAH!! It had been a long year but it is all going to be worth it in the end. We should start construction with in the next 2-3 weeks.

My mother has been in town since Saturday and that is why I haven't updated. It has been REALLY nice having her here. I will be very sad when she goes.

I signed up for Weight Watchers yesterday. Today is my first day on it and I feel pretty good. I feel like I have some energy. Been talking my multi-vitamin and another called 5-HTP. It is supposed to help balance out my moods and help me to have more energy. Guess we will have to wait and see.

I had an AWESOME Easter this year. I made Easter baskets for my 2 nephews (Mike and Richard). I also did an Easter egg hunt. It was all tons of fun. I have a lot of great pictures I will be posting. Hope you all enjoy and I love you all lots.

P.S. The pictures are HUGE file sizes so I will be posting them when I get that taken care of.

This dopesn't happen everyday.

I really thought it was going to give me a different type other then my real blood type. Go figure.

Your Inner Blood Type is Type O

You are outgoing, gregarious, and well loved. And it's a good thing you're super charming... Because you also tend to be a bit flaky! Your confidence gets your far, and you always speak your mind. You are most compatible with: O and AB Famous Type O's: John Lennon and Elvis

What's" Your Inner Blood Type?

Fun little Survey

1. Song that always makes you sad? Kissing You (Love theme from Romeo+Juliet) by Des'ree

2. Last thing you bought? Dominos

3. Last person you argued with? Frank

4. Do you put Butter before putting the peanut butter on? It would just be strange to put the butter on top of the peaneu butter.

5. One of your stuff animals names as a kid? Ummm...

6. Did you ever own at one time a Barenaked Ladies Cd? No thanks

7. Favorite day of the week? All seems like one long day

8. Favorite Sundae topping? Hot Fudge

9. Did you take Piano lessons? With this little old lady down the street from where I lived with my old friend Cassie.

10. Most frequently song played on your MEDIA PLAYER OF CHOICE? Whatever is on my Sirius Satelite radio.

11. T.V. show you secretly enjoy? Flavor of Love

12. Would you rather play basketball or hockey? Hockey, you can beat the shit out of ppl.
13. Date someone older or younger? usually older

14. One place you could travel right now? The grocery store.

15. Do you use umbrellas? If I can remember to bring one. I like to twirl them.

16. do you know all the words to the canadian national anthem? No, but I remember they sang it at my leadership training class.

17. Favorite Cheese? Colby Jack

18. The Smiths or the Cure? The Cure

19. Do you perfer Blondes or Brunettes? Doesn't matter

20. Best job you ever had? Being a mother.

21. Did you go to your highschool prom? Was in Las Vegas

22. Perfect time to wake up at? 11:00 am

23. Perfect time to go to bed? When I get tired. Thats when most ppl go to bed.

24. Do you use your queen right away in chess? Yes. It is one of the most important pieces in chess.

25. Have you been in a car accident? no

26. Closer to mom or dad...or niether? My mother. If you had asked me a few years ago I would deffinatly have said my dad.

27. What age is this exciting life over for you?As soon as I am no longer interested in sex.

28. Which decade during the 20th century would you have chosen to live in?The 90's

29. Favorite shoes you have EVER owned? Rocketdogs

30. Do you have an article of clothing you have had since you were a kid? um no.

31. Were you in track and field? yes, but I mostly did it to check out the guys. I sat on the bench most of the time.

32. Were you ever in a school talent show? I was in 2. One for my karate and the other I sang Billy-A-Dick by Bette Midler from the "For the Boys" soundtrak

33. Have you ever written in a library book? I use to draw obscene things in them

34. What are you allergic to? Codine

35. Whats your favorite fruit? Watermelon

36. Have you watched Sex and the City? Yes, and I honestly don't relate to any. I really don't think my sister is Carry either!

37. Baseball hat or touqe? Baseball hat.

38. Do you shampoo first in the shower or soap? Shampoo first. I soap after I washed the conditioner out otherwise it all sticks to my back.

39. Wet the toothbrush or brush dry with the toothpaste? Wet.

40. Pen or pencil? Pen. But with either my handwriting sucks.

41. Have you ever gambled at a casino? No. Was 2 young.

42. Have you thrown up on a plane? No. I hate flying tho.

43. Have you ever thrown up in a car? No.

44. Have you thrown up at work? Yes. I was homeless and took to many of those over the vcounter stay awake pills cause I haden't gotten any sleep.

45. Do you scream on rollercoasters? Not really. I tend to laugh mostly.

Dream? Or maybe something else!

I had a dream just not more then 5 minutes ago. I awoke from it with my heart racing and unwilling to try to go back to sleep.

I remember it starting out where I am with a friend. We are playing in the water. I think it is a pool. Having lot of fun. Then my dad shows up. I remember feeling great joy in this. He had me on his shoulders and we were playing and playing. Splashing around and we were just really happy. This went on for some time in my dream.

Then, my father had to go do some work and I am back at the friends house. My dad is downstairs working. She (but sometimes it turns into a boy in my dream) tells me that we should go to bed. She shows me to this little room that is made up into almost what looks like 2 different rooms but without a door. In the back of this room I see a bunch of those kneeling pillows, like hey have at a church. They are formed in a square. I ask what they are for. The girl then tells me that it is a wake. That my friend Amber is inside the square. Scared I asked why they didn't barey her. She said because the bible says that you don't go up or down and that her body is there for her to go back to.

I freak out and told the girl that I can't sleep in here. She says "I know I shouldn't have said anything". I begin to run. The girl doesn't know what to do and is struggling with what seems to be a demon inside her. It says for her to kill me! So I run and run down what seems like an endless spiral stair case. But it is a BIG and wide stair case. I look behind me and the girl is down on all fours like a dog running and leaping after me. Her eyes are black and cold. I am thinking in my head that I have to get to my dad. He's just right at the end of this stair case. I get to the room he is in. He is sitting at a desk working on a computer. I am yelling but he can't hear me.

The demon catches me and I ask, "Why are you doing this to me?"

Now it is a boy. He says "You are already asleep".

I know that he means I am asleep in that room with Ambers dead body. I think that I should just let myself fall all the way asleep.

That feeling when you're just stating to fall asleep comes over me and as I drift off scared and wishing I was awake, the boy told me "You need to wake up"!

At that second I awoke.

It has been a long time since a dream has been that fresh in my mind. It's been a very long time since a dream scared me soo much that ever just writing it out caused me heart to race and for this sick feeling to come over me.

It has me wondering, even though it was scary, is it possible for people that have passed on to try and reach us in our dreams? Most people that are close to me know that I am not a spiritual person. That I believe something happens after death, but the rest I am not sure of. So, could it be possible that it was Amber , trying to reach me? To get me to look inside that square in that room where she was laying, dead and lifeless? Maybe she was reminding me that I have not been thinking about her? That I forgot about her birthday in February? Maybe she was trying to let me know that she watches me.

I don't know. I woke up and the first thing I thought of doing was writing about it on here. Dreams easily slip our minds rather quickly when you awake from sleep. But this one I felt I was to share. I would have called Athena but she is at church. Frank is at work. That leaves just me and what was, this blank screen, to leave my thoughts.

I am also wondering, why was I scared to go look? Because I was afraid she was laying there. I was afraid that I would look and see what was left of her decomposing body. Because I felt in my heart that it was wrong to still have her body there 9 years after she had passed.

I just now wondered, maybe this was God. Letting me know he's really there. That I should not tread lightly when it comes to speaking about the bible and all that stuff...

Then again, I could just be over analyzing this whole thing and it really is just what it was.

A Dream.

Another Comparison

Here is Bowen one year ago on the left, and Bowen just last night on the right. Man he is getting so big. Hurts my heart!!