Playing His guitar (Messy Hair) 

An expression of Love

I am using Pink this time cause I am talking of love. I felt the need to really express how I feel. Frank, is my true love. I am 100% myself when I am around him. Maybe I am too comfortable at times, LOL, but that is what makes this relationship so wonderful. Don't get me wrong, there are times when I want to punch his block off and he knows it to. Times when I swear there is steam coming out of my hears and I am waking a sound that closely resembles a train whistle. But I wouldn't have it any other way. This man is a wonderful father, a dedicated spouse and a hard worker. I feel at times I don't give him credit when credit is due. I know if the role was reversed I would not be as calm as he is. This man doesn't get a break and I know I am way to hard on him. Like today when Kia went into heat I totally didn't know what to do and he had to be to work in 30min. He went up to J & M and got her those doggy diapers. That was so sweet to me. He just took control. Sometimes I need that cause I know I am a handful and act like I know everything.

For example, when I had Bowen it was really rough. I was so drugged up and in so much pain I had a hard time taking care of the lil guy and as tired as Frank was he took to it like a natural. Taking care of not only me but also our newborn son. I don't let him know just how much stuff like that means to me. That is what this post is about. Just to voice to everyone how wonderful this man is and just how much I love him!!

Andromeda

My Baby Girl Kia 

Well, I don't really have all that much to say. Found out my dog Kia had gone into heat. What a pain in my ass that is!!! I should have just gotten her fixed. Now I have to make her wear doggy diapers! LOL.

The weather over here had been beautiful. Took Bowen to the park yesterday. What a big boy he was swinging in the swing. Still scared me cause I am afraid he will fall out when he leans forward. I am really looking forward to Frank having the next 2 days off. He works sooo much and it's hard for us to find the time for one another. Then of course I want all his attention when he is here. But I am learning he needs his space to.

I took Bowen over on a play date with Mia and he did such a wonderful job. They played for about 2hrs and Mia just loves him. It was precious.

I am feeling very tired tonight so I don't think I will post much more. Hope everyone is doing good!

Andromeda

Control

Over the past 24 hours it has come to my attention that I have issues with control in my life. That I am to be 100% in control of everything that happens in this house and my significant others.. For example, yesterday Frank wanted to work on his car. Ok, that's fine. But I thought it would be more useful for him to work on the car we drive. It could always use work. Instead of me just letting him do what he wants, I started a war that essentially lasted the rest of the day and into the early hours of the next! I mean, why was it such a big deal that he work on the car I wanted him to work on? Was I mad because he wasn't doing what I thought he should be doing? Something as stupid as him wanting a little bit of time to do what it is he wanted to do and I just totally turn into super bitch mode and go all out for war. That whole night yesterday could have been avoided if I didn't feel the need to be totally in control of everything, not only myself but also what he does.

I must admit that I see part of this stemming from past relationships and my life out in Las Vegas. Just my total lack of control over ANYTHING. Now I am afraid to let anyone make decision for myself ,or in Franks case, himself.

I know that if he was to decide to go out that I would be ok with it. But when he is here I just feel his attention should be on me and Bowen. I have a hard time giving him space period. He could be home all day and I would still give him crap about him wanting to do whatever it is he wants to do.

I am just glad that this is something I realized now. I love him so VERY much and last night I thought I was going to lose him because of my need to be in control. YES, I am a work in progress. NO, I am not perfect. But I love my family with all of my heart and will do whatever I can to make it work!! :D

My baby Boy at the Harley Davidson cafe 

Botanical Gardens 

Botanical gardens 

Day at Botanical Gardens

What a wonderful day today was. Frank and I got up and took Bowen to the Botanical Gardens. He really liked it. The Butterflies were out so we got to look at those and they had some fish in a little pond there. One of them scared me because I was to close to the edge and it splashed and I shrieked like a BIG baby! LOL. Then we went to the Harley Davidson place and ate at the diner there. That was fun. We shared a banana split and I gave Bowen some of the Banana and a lil tiny tiny bit of ice cream. :) It was a VERY nice day. I was sad to see Frank leave for work. I am going to post some pictres that I took. They turned out a lot better then I though they would.

As far as my eating goes I have decided to take the week off. I need to really get focused and mentaly get my mind straight for what I want. I am not sure why I lost moivaton. But I must have been doing somethig wrong.

Also got news today that my sister Leora is going to have triplets. She has been struggling to get pregnant and now she has 3 on the way. I guess be careful what you ask for. LOL!!!

Me and Bowen on Easter 05

Random thoughts

Well today is my first post. Not 100% on the reason I decided to get a blogger. Maybe because writing it makes my hand hurt. But more so to keep myself on track. I am supposed to be doing Weight Watchers but must admit I have fallen off course the past 3 weeks. I am not 100% sure of the reason why. part of me has starting feeling like whats the point. The I look at myself and remember that I am unhappy with the way that I look and feel. Sigh. If only there were a simply way to change my mind set into remembering that food is something I need to survive and not a hobby. My commitment to myself is to write in this at least 4 times a week. Not just the negative but also the positive. Things that I do different in an effort to better myself. Maybe making this blog will help me to hold myself accountable for my actions. People who know me know I am quite good at making excuses for myself. Until next time.

Andromeda