I haven't posted in a few days because there really isn't anything to post about. The Bronco game was awesome. I think all of us had a little to much to drink afterwards but we all survived. The drive home was a pain because we drove back with a big storm above that decided to grace us with rain. Took us 5 hours to drive home when it should have only taken 3:30 to 4 hours. Oh well.

We are going to have to move so now begins the process of trying to find an apartment to rent until our house is done being built. I am really dreading packing and moving everything not once, but twice in one year. I think it will be most difficult for Bowen.

I am waiting for the pictures to get developed from the game. I had to buy a disposable camera cause Leora told me that I couldn't bring in my digital. Come to find out I could, just can't bring the ones with the detachable lens. So, when those are done I will post some cool pictures.

2nd day is WAY hard

Athena decided to have Bowen go to her house for a little while this evening so Frank and I decided to go grab a bite to eat. Of course there were people smoking right next to us and immediately I felt like I was going to die if I didn't get a smoke. So, on the way home we stopped at the grocery store and I got some candy and sunflower seeds. Frank decided to stop and get cigarettes. When we got home we just sat there, thinking about then. Debating whether or not to go and have one of them. So, finally I said come on and we went out side. While Frank had his cigarette I sat there and acted like I was smoking mine. I have to tell you, it was the hardest thing I have done in a long time. Believe me, when Frank went and got rid of the rest of them I started crying. Of course I was alone. I was ashamed how much I let this drug take control over me. My every thought is of having a cigarette. Just one drag. Just a little puff to curb the craving. But, I gave frank my cig. and told him no, that I didn't want it. Instead I went on a nice long bike ride and I feel much better now. I want to be here for my son. I want to go and do things with out having to take a break to smoke. I don't want to smell of cigarettes. I just want them out of my life FOREVER!

On a more positive note, Athena and I leave for Denver tomorrow. YIPEE!!! I got her and I t-shirts and hats to wear to the game. Athena is very excited because she has never been to a game. Then to think her first game is a MONDAY NIGHT game. How awesome is that?!?! I will be posting pictures when I get back, so I wont be posting again probably until Wednesday. Have a good Monday, I know I will! *text is the color of my lungs if I dont quit*

2nd time harder then the first?

Today marks day one of me quitting smoking for the rest of my life. I quit back in 2001 and didn't start up again until after I had Bowen. So, off and on for the past year I have been smoking. I noticed when I am asked if I smoke I always say no. I now realize it is because I am ashamed that I do. I was going to quit when I go up to Denver on Monday, but I decided there's no time like the present. That if I keep having reasons for why I can keep smoking that I will never end up quitting. But I tell you it is sure harder this time around then it was the first time. The first time I quit I did it cold turkey. Just decided that I wasn't going to smoke anymore. This time I am not sure why I am struggling so hard. But I Know I need to do it not only for myself but also for my family.

I have decided that everyday I am going to look up information on lung cancer or ways to quit smoking . Today on QuitNet they told me what I can expect when I quit:
Money in your pocket:
$438.00/year
Days added to your life:
16 days, 17 hours/year

Now I am sure the money in my pocket would be more the longer I smoke. The amount you smoke always goes up with time. Right now I am only up to 6 a day.

I was then given the reason I smoke after completing a questionnaire, and this is what they told me:

Relaxation
You scored high (100%) as a Pleasure/Relaxation smoker. You may use smoking as a reward to sit down and relax. You enjoy a cigarette after a good meal or in social situations, like a party. For you, alternatives to smoking may include taking a walk after eating or finding other activities that give you pleasure. At parties, try to drink non-alcoholic drinks. Alcohol tends to reduce your willpower for staying off cigarettes. 73% of QuitNet users are relaxation smokers.

Crutch
You scored high (100%) as a Crutch/Tension smoker. You tend to use cigarettes as a crutch in moments of stress or discomfort. You may smoke when you are nervous, worried or angry. All these feeling represent some kind of tension. For you to quit smoking, you need to find a release for that tension. Try deep breathing, relaxation or physical exercises to help reduce your stress. 79% of QuitNet users are crutch smokers.

Craving
You scored high (73%) as a Craving smoker. You often feel a 'hunger' for a cigarette. This is a psychological addiction. You crave the nicotine. Each cigarette you have is a stimulus for the next. Drink plenty of water, it may help to lessen some of the physical withdrawal symptoms. 71% of QuitNet users are Cravingsmokers.

Remember
There are no easy solutions when it comes to quitting smoking. This program merely offers suggestions to help you get started. The rest is up to you! Find out what methods work for you and stick to them. Do it for yourself! Do it for your health!


It will be tough for me to quit when we go to Denver on Monday cause my sister Leora smokes. But I will make sure I let everyone know that I quit and hopefully I will find support.

Till tomorrow, night!

Old man

For those of you who asked what Christopher looks like, here is a picture. Hes 6 weeks old here. Hes a whopping 2lb and 13oz. I think he looks like an old man. HEHE, he's sure a cutie.

What day is it?

Wow, can't believe it is the weekend already. This month is sure flying by. Today there isn't really a topic for this post, just some random thoughts on whats going on around in the world.

• First off I would like to ask people to pray for my sister Leora and her son Christopher! Christopher is having a very bad week and things aren't looking to great. They took him off the ventilator yesterday to let him try to breath on his own. His STATS dropped and in the process of putting the tube back in they realized his trachea had swollen shut so he was with out oxygen for 5min. They said it probably caused permanent brain damage. So, for those of you who pray, please do so for my sister that God will give her the strength to stay positive and keep healthy for her son. Pray that Christopher learns to breath on his own before next week other wise their going to have to give him a tracheostomy and they say he will have it for the rest of his life. I'm going up to see her on Monday so for those of you who would like to say something just leave it in my comments or e-mail it to me. Thanks.

• I am sorry for New Orleans. Beginning to think maybe they shouldn't rebuild near Lake Ponchatrain. Now the canal has a breach so there is water going where it hadn't previously gone when Katrina hit. I am sorry for all the people who evacuated to Texas that had to be moved again.

• I really hate the game Zuma. I have been playing this game for over a year now and I am stuck on stage 9 level 1. But my mother has been playing for all of 6 months and has passed me. What a tough game.

• Choir is going really good. We're really starting to pull together and it is starting to sound beautiful. I am really struggling with some of the language in this Hebrew piece were singing call Bashana Habbaha. It is really beautiful though.

• Athena and I had lunch today and we talked about a personal situation of hers that she felt I needed to know about. I thought it was very sweet of her to talk to me about this, as difficult as it was for her. But I tell you, I spent all day wondering what it was she wanted to speak with me about. I couldn't remember if I had done something to offend her or not. But, things are great now and I just wanted to give her props for being so brave.

• Its amazing how much quick time is flying by. If it wasn't for me going to choir class now I would have no idea what day of the week it was.

• I was a bit disappointed with CSI last night. I thought that they were going to get more into what happened last season but they really didn't have much to say about it. It looks as though it will be an ongoing investigation through out this season. Should make it more interesting.

Well, that's about all I have to say. I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend. If you watch Monday Night Football look for me in the North Stands. GO BRONCOS!

You chose blue-green eyes.You are a very happy, hyper person. You love to
laugh a lot with your friends, and you are loud
in large crowds. Most of the time you're
smiling, but inside, you have a slight low self
esteem, and you try to cover it up with
cheerfullness. You try to live life to the
fullest. You also believe in all the
supernatural things. Like in faeries, ghosts,
aliens, etc...You like to keep your options
open. You can sometimes be a bit bossy too,
when people don't always like the same things
you like. It makes you defensive.

The Eye color personality test
brought to you by Quizilla

This does sound a lot like me. I would be very interested in hearing what color you are! Please leave the results in my comments.

I think were getting better?

Choir class today was pretty good. You can defiantly tell that we are getting better. We still need a lot of work and since the pieces are in Hebrew and French I better get cracking. They did make CD's for us to practice with but their not very good. Oh well. Thought I would put an updated picture of me on here for those who care to see. Was taken after class today. Have a good night!

Now the following is nothing like me cause I love to walk around naked, but this does remind me of Frank:

How to shower like a WOMAN:

1. Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
2. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
3. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups.
4. Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah, and pumice stone.
5. Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
6. Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
7. Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced with natural avocado oil. Leave on hair for 15 minutes.
8. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
9. Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
10. Rinse conditioner off hair.
11. Shave armpits and legs.
12. Turn off shower.
13. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with Tilex.
14. Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
15. Check entire body for zits, tweeze hairs.
16. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
17. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

Now, How to shower like a MAN:

1. Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
2. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the 'woo-woo' sound.
3. Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Admire your wiener and scratch your butt.
4. Get in the shower.
5. Wash your armpits.
6. Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
7. Make fart noises (real or artificial) and laugh at how loud they sound in the shower.
8. Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding areas.
9. Wash your butt, leaving butt hairs stuck on the soap.
10. Shampoo your hair.
11. Make a shampoo Mohawk.
12. Pee.
13. Rinse off and get out of shower.
14. Partially dry off. Fail to notice water on floor because curtain hanging out of the tub the whole time.
15. Admire wiener again.
16. Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
17. Return to bedroom with towel around your waist. If you pass wife pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the 'woo-woo' sound again.
18. Throw wet towel on bed.

This link was also found by Frank and he just thought it was soooo funny! Cat playing with winky

What a great weekend!

It is nice that Frank finally has 2 days off of work in a row. It is very much needed. Today Frank and I went and played golf. It was pretty fun. I am still pretty new at it so I was frustrated at times. As you can tell from the picture above my form isn't all that great and it is very hard to swing with these big ole` breasts in the way. We were doing so bad that we didn't even keep score. To be perfectly honest, there probably wasn't enough room on the score cards!

Then we went swimming. The pool was pretty cold for it being an indoor pool. There were also a lot of children in the hot tub and it smelled of urine. No thanks! Bowen was pretty cold after but he did have a fun time. But he sure looks cute in this picture. Both Bowen and daddy were sure tired after!
Then when it was almost time for bed, Bowen and I laid on the couch and watched his Baby Einstein (a very rare occasion that he allows me to do this). Frank was able to get a very good picture of the two of us laying on the couch. So precious. I sure love this little guy. Makes me want to have another kid. Since were going to be building our house soon it would probably be best if we waited. But the more he grows up the more I miss my little guy! Well, that's all I will post for the weekend. I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend and I look forward to reading about yours!

Changed the comments

For those who keep posting nasty stuff on my blog, I have now turn off being able to leave them under anonymous. Also, there is a girl who posted a comment and I wanted to let her know that I know who she is. I also read your comment about the proposal on Gilmore Girls, just so you know that I do know where your blog is. So, if I were you I would leave me alone before I decide to be immature and out you on your own blog. Thanks.

Also, for those who are not members, I am sure you have my e-mail address. So, feel free and send me any comments there. Hope everyone has a pleasant weekend. Were going to go play golf. Yipee!!

The Dash

I went to this leadership training course at Rapport Leadership International when I lived in Las Vegas about 3 years ago. I was going through some of my stuff and I came across my binder from the program. It is always fun to go back and look through the stuff I had written about myself. As I sit here and read through some of the stuff we talked about during this course, I am asking myself, Where in my life do I use the tools that I have learned from this class? I can think of many situations where I could have used my leadership training to accomplish a goal or achieve something that has been difficult thus far in my life. Then I came across a quote that said "If I am continuously unmotivated, I either do not have a vision, or I haven't committed to it".

How true this statement has become in my life. I am thinking of printing it up and sticking it somewhere in my house so that I can look at it everyday. Maybe this would help to to realize my own strength to over come the obstacles I have in my life right now (smoking, working out). Part of the class required me to write a Vision Mission statement. I tell you I laughed all the way through reading it. I know that my Vision statement was supposed to be a little far fetched, but mine is just ridiculous:

" Vision: I will be wealthy. I will be so wealthy that money will be falling out of my pockets. I will be honest and have others be honest as well. I will be wealthy by owning a multi-billion dollar company that goes above and beyond Microsoft. I will be empowering and assertive. I will be a leader. I will be so wealthy that I can by a yacht. I will be loving and share. I will be self improving and courageous."

Wow, what a statement. If only it were true. Now keep in mind that the vision statement wasn't meant necessarily to flow and have proper English at the time. It was simply to give me something to live my life by. But I don't feel that the vision statement applies to my life anymore.

Now, more on the reason I started writing this was to share with you a poem that had an impact on my life and still does to this day.

The Dash

By Alton Maiden

University of Notre Dame- 1996

I've seen my share of tombstones, but never took the time to

truly read,

The meaning behind what is there for other to see.

Under the person's name it read the date of birth,

dash(-), and the date the person passed.

But the more I think about that tombstone, the important thing is

the dash.

Yes, I see the name of the person but that I might forget,

I also read the date of birth and death but even that might not

stick.

But thinking about the individual, I can't help but to remember

the dash,

Because it represents a person's life and that will always last.

So, when you begin to charter your life, make sure you're on a

positive path.

Because people may forget your birth and death, but they will

never forget your dash.

Just a little food for thought!

New Pictures of Bowen

Now, I am hoping at some point, that the food actuely made it into his mouth. This picture at the top is Bowen walking around with his toy stuck in his pants! he just thinks it's the funniest thing.

Ultrasound results

After waiting all day yesterday to hear the results of my ultrasound, the Doctor NEVER called! Isn't that just like them to do that. So, I called first thing this morning and the nurse said:

"I don't know what happened. I gave your doctor the message".

I can tell you what happened, they decided it wasn't important enough to call me and that I would be fine till tomorrow. So when I called this morning the nurse said again:

"Oh, I'm sorry. But your doctor wont be in the office again until Monday. Would you like me to have another doctor give you a call back?"

How completely annoying. Why didn't she just call me last night if she knew she wasn't going to be in the office? I of course said yes cause I wanted to know what was going on with me. I was also wondering how they are going to know what we talked about during my appointment and how a stranger to me is going to tell me what's going on with my body!

Well, to my amazement, they didn't have a doctor call back, it was a nurse. That's fine, but then why couldn't the nurse I talked to when I called yesterday have told me what's going on?

She said that during my exam they found a 1/2in cyst on my ovary but that it ruptured during the exam. Well, why couldn't the tech have told me that when I was there getting the ultrasound? LOL. Then she told me that my pap came back abnormal and that I need to come back in 4 months to redo it. Its probably nothing.

Well, that's it for my rant today.

Immature

Well, I recently deleted a comment from anonymous because they were rude and making a personal attack. I believe it is one of the girls that I was arguing with. Thinking she is clever to leave it as anonymous instead of her log in name for Blogger. I will just continue to delete them. I thought about posting something on her blog again but I decided to just let it go. She is only confirming that she is, indeed, immature. I know at 16 I never acted like that. Plus, I would remember since it was only 6yrs ago! So with that said, if your reading this, please go away and at least try not to act like your 12.

My Dr. Appointment

I know it's been a while since I last posted. I was to busy arguing with these 15yr old girls that decided to post stuff on my blog. Needless to say nothing got accomplished and I still think their two little shits.

With that said I have noticed I have been having pain in my lower abdomen for the past week. Went into the doctors yesterday and they did a pelvic exam and BOY did it hurt. So, they sent me to do an ultrasound. Now, I sit and wait. Wait for them to call me back and let me know what's going on. What crap medication I am going to have to take! I have come to the conclusion that a lot of the doctors in my little small town are, more often then not, incompetent. You really have to push them to get stuff done and they tend to not listen to the patient.

On a lighter note, my sister Athena and I are going to be going to Denver again to go to a Monday night football game against Kansas City! How exciting. Its been a few years since I have been to a Bronco game. Hopefully the game is nothing like Sundays game. That sucked. LOL. Well, I will post more later to let you know what the Doc told me.

Oh, to have no responsibilities what so ever!

So quick to grow up :(

Well, I am happy to report that Bowen fed himself his lunch yesterday, with his spoon! I was so happy, but dreaded him growing up to quickly already. I remember a lot of days like this picture below. Bowen falling asleep in our arms and us looking at his face and thinking how lucky we are.

From this picture I am sure you can tell that those days are few and far between. I now rush to comfort him when he cries, but still he doesn't want his mother. But he is quick to come to me when its time to eat. So full of ambition and often to eager to grow up. As he gets older I am sure I will look at days like this and wish things were like how they are now. As they grow to be independent thinkers and more opinionated, I look forward to seeing the man he is destine to become, but will miss the days of finding little presents on my shirt! :)

NBC

Go figure that NBC's Concert for hurricane relief got turned into a bush bashing thanks to Kanye West. It wasn't so much that the Bush bashing upset me, but that something that was supposed to be to help others and not meant to be a political view got turned into just that. Then, instead of NBC editing it before it was retelevised everywhere else they simply released a press release saying:

"Tonight's telecast was a live television event wrought with emotion. Kanye West departed from the scripted comments that were prepared for him and his opinions in no way represent the views of the networks. It would be most unfortunate if the efforts of the artists who participated tonight and the generosity of millions of Americans who are helping those in need are overshadowed by one person's opinion."

According to to other bloggers on here the comments were edited somewhat but people still go the just of it.

To see it again, please visit this link. http://www.ifilm.com/?htv=12

I guess we are at a point in society that technology like they use for the superbowl has to be improvised even for such occasions as a telethon. I am very ashamed. Then to read that they did use a delay but the person in charge was not doing their job is even sadder.

Heres another picture